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sexist COUNTRY SONG LYRICS THAT COULD BE INSPIRED BY DUBLIN PERSONAL ADVERTS

Here are some personal ads (found floating around on the Internet), supposedly from the Dublin News. Each ad has the potential to inspire at least one good country song lyric, however sexist.

  • Heavy drinker, 35, Cork Area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and has been known to start fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.
  • Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiancee, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.
  • Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shitty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.
  • Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the ass end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.
  • Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
  • Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed super model, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.

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